Love is the Foundation of Spirit

My wife and I have very open conversations about any and everything, and sometimes these talks spark a revelation in me. Often, they are things that I felt I always knew of or about, but it isn’t until we dive deep into the subject, that my awareness is unveiled. Kind of like the way we can always see our nose, but don’t notice it’s in our line of sight until we’re actually made aware of it. I find it fascinating how you can have knowledge about something, but not necessarily be mindful of it.

In this case, we had a conversation about religion, and as someone who grew up in the church, I always considered myself to have a unique relationship and understanding of it. My wife has noticed several Pentecostal churches around our neighborhood, and although neither of us currently go to church, I continue to uphold my faith and she’s been curious about it. Since I grew up in a church and she didn’t, she figured I’d have knowledge on what a Pentecostal church is, what they practice and believe in. But to be honest, I only know what I’ve heard- so I thought- and it wasn’t much. A few of my mother’s friends grew up in a Pentecostal church, and from the stories they’ve told us, I assumed all Pentecostal churches were very strict, particularly towards their women. Women weren’t allowed to enter the church wearing jeans, wear make up, nor shave their legs. But other than that, that’s all I thought when I heard the term “Pentecostal.”

So to alleviate our curiosity, we searched up what it means, and according to BBC, “Pentocostals believe that faith must be powerfully experiential, and not something found merely through ritual or thinking.” BBC explains, their belief is based on one’s direct experience of the Holy Spirit moving through them. Reading that was quite the epiphany because I grew up in a Pentocastal church and I never even realized that’s what we were. I knew we were Christian and that not everyone believed in Jesus, or God even, but I was never really aware of what made my faith different from other religions. I believed we all essentially believed in the idea of there being a Higher power, but not everyone has experienced the Holy Spirit flowing through them. I guess I knew that, but for the first time, I actually became aware of it.

Additionally, according to the BBC, Pentacostals believe “The direct experience of God is revealed by gifts of the Spirit such as speaking in tongues, prophecy and healing.” Pentecostals also believe in rebirth. Once you have experienced the glory of God on an experiential level, baptism follows as a symbol for being reborn and given the strength to lead a “Christian” life. Of course, this is where hypocrisy tends to manifest through the congregation's interpretation of a “Christian life.” I experienced all of these things at my church, and I was 18 when I left, but I still hold on to what I gained from my direct experience with God.

Through song is when I feel closest to God, the Universe, Source, but not just any song- through praise and worship. When I’m singing lyrics of gratitude, of forgiveness, of joy, and of love, that’s when I feel all of those things. I am grateful. I am forgiven. I am full of joy and I am full of love. These affirmations make me feel whole - and when I am in that feeling of wholeness, I forget about everything that has ever made me feel less than that. Almost like I’m high. Trying to explain all of this to my wife was quite challenging because as someone who has experienced the power of the Holy Spirit, how do I even begin to describe what that feels like. The splendor, the serenity, and the overwhelming love that you feel when the Holy Spirit channels its energy through you, is a feeling like no other. I never considered that to be something to be viewed as strange or crazy, but I can definitely see how it might seem extra-terrestrial or may not make sense to someone who has never been exposed to such a concept, let alone, been to church.

I do not subscribe to any faith-based organizations, but I do hold my experience with my church as the foundation for the way I lead and live my life. I often feel a bit delusional because of how calm, optimistic, and hopeful I am when I’m living in a world where fear, bitterness, and affliction run rampant. I will say, I am immensely grateful for having a community of like-minded people who have seen and understand the glory of the Spirit, because when I speak of the power of the Universe to non-believers, my beliefs are found to be unrealistic. But I have experienced a reality, an alternate universe, if you will, where people treat one another with respect, with understanding, and always, with love.

I refuse to believe that the world was meant to be so afraid, ill, and unhappy. Destruction, control, and suffering have become the norm, and I refuse to accept that because my belief is we were born to create, to love, and to heal. I have seen God work through people. Through the way people heal others using medicinal herbs and practices. The way people heal through their lyrics and presence. The way they can communicate with someone, connect with them, in a way that no else can. The way they can make people laugh, or brighten up a room when they walk in. The way people feel safe around them, or like they can be themselves. The way someone cooks a home cooked meal for you, or the way someone gets you a gift that reminds them of you. Or even the way someone might reject you, or the way they flipped you off in traffic. These are all ways that Source moves through you and around you, guiding you and protecting you, leading you to a more loving way of living. But without this awareness, we will only see the world that we know.

If believing in a better, more loving world makes me delusional, then call me delusional, but my faith in Source, in the Universe, in God is unwavering. I have experienced the immense power that is to love and be loved. Learning to be grateful, to forgive, and to enjoy myself through life’s trials and tribulations has allowed me to love myself in a way that transcends the physical and the emotional. Healing my relationship with myself, heals my relationship with the world around me, and gives me the power to heal. This world is so full of hate, dissatisfaction, and guilt because we are all projecting and crying out for love and understanding. When we can learn to forgive ourselves, to be kind to ourselves, to care for and heal ourselves, that’s when love and healing will be reflected onto the world. We are all energy, and the words, actions, and feelings that we embody everyday holds the power we give to it. I, for one, am not perfect,and I still have loads within me to work through and to heal, but being aware of where my actions are stemming from makes me conscious of how they are affecting others. Furthermore, when I become aware of where someone else’s actions might be coming from, that also makes me more understanding and allows me not to take their actions and emotions to heart.

I spent over a decade of my life going to church, and unless I was asked to read a verse, I never read the Bible. But there are a few verses, or quotes, if you will, that stick with me. One that I use as a bit of an affirmation is, “Faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains.” With our current political climate, I have felt fear in and around me, but having the awareness that fear is not of God- of Source- and that love is, allows me to believe there is a better life that is accessible. If we can go beyond just knowing that life is the way that it is, that tomorrow will suck, that society is doomed, and instead can activate the awareness of ourselves and our actions, of others and their actions, and understand that we are all hurting and afraid, then we can learn to be more compassionate. If we can choose love over hate, then love will begin to weed out all systems of hate, and plant its roots so that we can build up, instead of destroy, a world filled with community, with laughter, with joy, with peace, and of course, with love.

I know this all might sound pretty far out there, but it’s out there. It’s possible, and it all starts with you and me. Take the time to care for yourself, to listen to your body, and to appreciate your gifts and talents. And in turn, we can learn to care for each other, listen to each other, and appreciate the presence and power we each hold. Together, we can navigate a world of ups and downs, of storms and calms, and chart a course toward a more creative, loving world.

References

“Religions - Christianity: Pentecostalism.” BBC, BBC, 2 July 2009, www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/christianity/subdivisions/pentecostal_1.shtml.